Pussy...Cat.

My cousin was married earlier in the summer and I was a bridesmaid. Which inevitably means that I was obligated to attend the so-unholy bachelorette party. I've pretty much hit that age that once you know one person who's getting married, the rest of your friends begin to drop like flies. Next thing you know, you're an aunt or god parent. Even worse, you're the one getting married.

Anyway, this was my first bachelorette party ever. Admittedly, it set the bar pretty high for future bachelorette parties to come. Why? Because instead of having the usual male-stripper club outting, we went to Asia SF. This was also my first time here. I bet you're asking yourself, "Alright, Jenny, what's the big deal?" Hold your horses, I'm getting there! In addition to the obligatory male-stripper, we also had fe(male) entertainers.
[fe(male)] = know your order of mathematical operations, my friends, and maybe you'll get the picture.

That's right. These entertainers are genetically...men. Whatever journey that they have gone through from their birth until the moment I saw them stomping their pretty little heels on that runway-style bartop had to have been something absolutely astonishing. They were all dolled up, gorgeous, and unbelieveably convincing. The host that walked us to our table was literally drop-dead gorgeous. She walked so gracefully, had beautiful long brown hair and had a face that would make so many "real" women jealous. You think I lie? Of course not.

I mean, look at that body. Don't lie to yourself, she's hot and you know it. And, if you're a guy who's reading this and staring at the photo in confusion, I bet you $5 you thought she was cute until you realized it was a guy. Well...she...was...a guy...? Who knows.

The entertainers were great. There are about 4 seatings per night, and four entertainers per dinner showing. Each entertainer does about two sets of song and dance each. Let's see...I saw Shakira, Beyonce and some 1920s-style entertainer. It was great. Apparently, at each show they try to seat a man at the end of the bar where the entertainers could tease them in front of the crowd. As my cousin and the rest of the bachelorette party sat at our table eating our dinner, these performers would make their way to the end of the bar and do some pretty sexually provacative dance moves on this man. They would stand over him and kneel over to reveal cleavage and/or thrust their hips forward into his face. Poor guy. It's obvious that he would be pretty embarassed by being picked on, but I honestly think he kind of enjoyed it. His face, along with his bald head, turned bright read every time the entertainer came over to pick on him.


I think this is the Shakira set. The only reason why I took this picture is so that I can see if I can spot her junk. I don't really see anything. Do you? After our dinner we were given a male-stripper in a private room. At first I thought it was fun, but now that I think about it that shit is nasty. I was drunk. Anything's fun when I'm drunk. He put oil on our hands and everything to rub on his body. Eww, yuck. Everyone in the party got at least one lap dance. My cousin, she was hooked up with more shots than she could drink. All of the other bachelorette parties had their own little thing in the downstairs basement where there's a bar and dancefloor. FUN TIMES.

Overall, the experience was great. For any of you who are thinking to throw a bachelorette party outside of the ordinary, I definitely recommend this place. Even though it sounds a little tacky, I can honestly tell you that bachelorette parties are supposed to push the bounderies. So, if you have a strong stomach and are open to the spectrum of sexuality and gender, this place is for you. The food and drinks were just alright. A little expensive for my liking, but if you book with Asia SF beforehand, they'll provide you with a really great package for services within the restaurant and also admission to a lot of the surrounding clubs in the area. The actual venue is really cool.

Side thought: You know how the word 'phallic' describes shapes and symbols that are representative of the male genitalia? Asia SF made me question if there is a word that is representative of female genitalia. I mean, we don't walk around pointing at things that look like vaginas and say, "wow, that looks extremely 'vaginic'". Someone told me that it's called 'gynic'. That just doesn't sound right to me.

Anyway, the interior design of the place continually reminds you of the vagina. Like, the lamps were shaped like labia. One thing in particular totally mind-fucked me. It was a huge mirror that is unmistakably shaped like the labia majora. I swear, every time I looked into it it made me think of where I come from. Like, literally, the part of the body of where I come from. Where you come from, at that! It was almost like I was looking at myself toward the inside of the vagina and I'm never going to be able to go back to that place...except through the experience of carrying and birthing my own child. See what I mean? It totally mind-fucked me. That's besides the point. The bar was great. Some patrons were allowed to sit at the bar and enjoy dinner up-close and personal with the entertainers doing their sets at the runway style bar top adjacent to them. The dinner tables surround the bar where larger parties can enjoy their dinners comfortably and admire from afar. Everything in the upstairs portion of the restaurant was sleek, modern and fun. I definitely like that they kept the female anatomy in mind when it came to the concepts used for the interior design.




More pictures of the beautiful entertainers. Eat your heart out.