Thursday, October 29, 2009
Maybe I'm Just Silly...
but I personally think this is hilarious. I found this the last time I was in LA. Had to take a snapshot. Only in LA where looks are preferred over brains.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
A Night in the Castro
I honestly have not hung out in the Castro since I was...20? Maybe 21. The last time I was there I got so shitfaced drunk that I took a cab home and ended making my cousin pay for it. Sorry girl. To tell you the honest truth, I think I was slipped some sort of rufie that still allowed me to function. I vaguely remember a man trying to hit on me and he told me he was a coke dealer. Chyeah, super sketch. Do I remember? Of course not. Anyway, let's just make the long story short and say that that entire experience made me stay away from the Castro and much more wary about how much I drink in public and who I'm drinking with.
It was Ryan's birthday. Yes, the same cousin Ryan who sent me the inappropriate picture of the 'Hand Job Nail Spa'. Right when we parked in the neighborhood and turned the corner, there it was. In all of its glory the big red banner held high above the store read 'HAND JOB'. Only in the Castro can a business survive with a name like that. I had to make Ryan stop in his path so that I could laugh for a good second. I had no idea that he had taken the photo in the Castro...it all makes sense.
What I love about the Castro is that the drinks are dirt cheap and the bars are all really close to each other. If you aren't feeling the crowd at one bar, there's another one a couple stores down filled with just as many gay-loving people as the next. It's awesome. Everyone there is ridiculously nice to me. Granted, I am cute...and somehow I always turn out to be a faghag. What can I say? The gays love me. I mean, it just wouldn't be fair to be gay and not have a good looking girlfriend by your side. That would mean that the world is working against you.
After my two drinks (two for one well-drinks: $3), Ryan and I made our way to get some dinner at Thai House Express. We were debating if we should buy a bottle of white wine to drink our sorrows away and celebrate Ryan's birthday, but we figure we had a long night ahead of us...it was only 5:30. How pathetic. We were already buzzed, eating dinner, and thinking about how we would fail miserably to get throughout the night in a functional manner. We ordered the Beef Jerky, vegetable dish and cashew chicken. All pretty standard dishes to order at any hole-in-the-wall Asian joint. It was really good though. Great drunk food at that. The beef jerky came with this hot chili sauce that put my mouth of fire for a good 30 seconds after each bite. Nonetheless, it was definitely worth having my half of the dish. We both ended up just getting a glass of pinot grigio each. We needed something to cool our drunk asses down, but not completely take away our buzz. Dinner was cheap, $41 in total. Happy birthday, RYAN!
Now this is probably the point in my night where everything started to get a little more exciting. We drove out to have some drinks at Martuni's. I only had one drink at this place but it was really good: Raspberry Martini. They also had other fruit-inspired martini's that were creatively put together. If I would have known that they put watermelon wedges on their watermelon martini, I definitely would have ordered that instead. I really just wanted to rekindle some old flames with my old favorite that pretty much doesn't exist anymore: Ferrari Martini. This place is definitely legit though. Martuni was crackin' with a very wide range of people. Live Music. Good Drinks. Good people. How much more can you ask? I told one of the guys the story that my mom thinks I work at an Asian cafe, and let's just say that ended up biting me back on the ass. He kept using it against me saying that, "You shouldn't worry about how much or what you drink. You don't have morals. You work at an Asian cafe, remember?"
Alright gay guy, simmer down. Stop gettin' sassy with me.
Alright gay guy, simmer down. Stop gettin' sassy with me.
Then, I got hungry. I decided to be brave and go to Zeitgeist right down the street to get something to eat. I knew that everyone else was having a good time, so I went by myself. I used to love this place...until this night. I've heard things before that the folks who work in the kitchen are sexist towards men. Well, let me add to that list. They're slightly racist too. I was standing in line reading the menu and it was shit loud in the joint. By the time I was ready to order the guy put out a sign right in front of my face saying that it was my fault that the kitchen isn't closing yet EVEN though the signwas just put out. WTF? C'mon guy. Drop the ego real fast, and stop trying to play God because you're feeding me. Mind you, I'm technically feeding you because my business pays your fuckin' bills. Why you gotta be so rude? He basically told me that if I stiff him on the tip he'll never serve me again. No problemo, asshole. I'm not coming back. The burger was worth it. Right after I ordered my burger some girl behind me asked if I could order her Gardenburger so that she doesn't get yelled at, too. I figured I may as well spare someone else the emotional damage that this guy can cause and help her out. We were standing while we were waiting for our orders and she asked if I'd like to join them. So, I did. I mean, I was by myself. I stood out like a soar thumb because I was dressed in a short dress, boots and I am colored...damn, that seems to be a common theme nowadays for me. Wendy was a nice gal. She was totally a Wendy...more like Dave Thomas' grown-up Wendy. She was a white girl with short, red, curly hair. We were talkin' shit for a good while about how much of assholes the people who work at Zeitgeist are. Turns out she's a pretty smart chick who's in nursing school and was celebrating some sort of academic achievement with her colleagues. She was originally from some state in the midwest. I asked her, "So, why do you like San Francisco so much to have left your entire familiy?"
"Because I'm a lesbian."
**AWKWARD**
I chew down the last few bits of my burger, shake her hand, and wish her well. She was a sweet gal and everything, but I was drunk and who knows what kinds of irresponsible actions I can participate in. I can't even handle the boys, so what makes me think I can continue to string this woman on.
I leave. Good bye, Zeitgeist. I think I'll find another dive bar to go to and spend my money. Yes, it's awesome to be able to bring my bicycle right on in with me and have a beer on your back patio, but don't treat me like shit. The guys that work there were almost as big of assholes as the guys who run Top Dog in Berkeley. Except, at Top Dog you can actually see them make your food. So, the guy at Zeitgeist could have thrown my burger patty on the ground, picked ot up and served it to me without even knowing.
I head back to Martuni's to meet with the group. I really don't know what it is about hanging out with gay guys, but damn it's always a good time. One of them started doing cartwheels on the sidewalk as we were walking up on Market towards the Castro and literally tore a 12 inch hole down the middle of his right pantleg. I guess his cartwheels were too fabulous to be contained in his pantalones. So, one of the other faghags in the group stopped at a corner store to buy an entire box of safety pins to put it back together. And what does this boy do? He gets bold and does another cartwheel to ONLY rip an even bigger hole on the same pantleg. Ugh, pop a cherry once, you only crave to do it again.
What I loved most about this group is that the language was extra vulgar and the women referred to the gay men as other women. I used to be extremely adament about getting people's preferred pronouns right, but this particulary lady was just calling everybody 'she'. Example:
Hahah, everyone was a she. I loved it. The other faghag threatened that she would tear a bitch up if another faghag were to try to infiltrate the group. Yes, this was a real conversation. And, I completely felt like an outsider. It was awesome. All of these folks work/worked at Starbucks together. An entirely different side of the service industry. It was just really funny to observe how one group of friends interact with each other. I'm sure the dynamics of their relationships with one another was extremely different because of their identities. It was really great to just hang out with people who are half-in and half-out the hospitality industry. I think Starbucks functions like a restaurant on crack. They're a little more straight forward with their services. Gimme yo money, leave your change in my tip bucket, get yo coffee and get the fuck out.
I say it was a successful night because I made it out alive. I was able to drive myself home and make it to work the next day. My cousin on the other hand...let's just say he may have stayed behind at the 'Hand Job'...minus the female Asian cafe workers...sub 21 year old white boy.
What I loved most about this group is that the language was extra vulgar and the women referred to the gay men as other women. I used to be extremely adament about getting people's preferred pronouns right, but this particulary lady was just calling everybody 'she'. Example:
"Did you hear Jerry is with Adam right now?"
"Yeah, that bitch would. She's totally dickwhooped right now."
Hahah, everyone was a she. I loved it. The other faghag threatened that she would tear a bitch up if another faghag were to try to infiltrate the group. Yes, this was a real conversation. And, I completely felt like an outsider. It was awesome. All of these folks work/worked at Starbucks together. An entirely different side of the service industry. It was just really funny to observe how one group of friends interact with each other. I'm sure the dynamics of their relationships with one another was extremely different because of their identities. It was really great to just hang out with people who are half-in and half-out the hospitality industry. I think Starbucks functions like a restaurant on crack. They're a little more straight forward with their services. Gimme yo money, leave your change in my tip bucket, get yo coffee and get the fuck out.
I say it was a successful night because I made it out alive. I was able to drive myself home and make it to work the next day. My cousin on the other hand...let's just say he may have stayed behind at the 'Hand Job'...minus the female Asian cafe workers...sub 21 year old white boy.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Old People...
...why do you have to be so grumpy?
Like, on the real. It's either they're really grumpy or they are just adorably sweet. I hope I don't grow up to be a grumpy, old person.
Tonight, I assigned a party of four in our mid-sized dining room because they requested for the quietest place to sit and talk. Our smallest room was reserved for a private event, so this was probably the next best place to take them. As I'm watching my boss take them back to their table, they just stare at the table like there's something completely wrong. As if there was a dead piece of road kill on it. My boss then guides them to our outside patio. Then, guides them back to the original table. The man lets his wife sit down and comes to my desk...and FULL OUT yells at me. He makes me recite to him the note that was left on the reservation. I say, "quietest table available. Preferably the back room".
He then says, "Exactly. You did not follow directions. If the restaurant was going to be noisy, you should have called me beforehand to tell me that it was going to be loud. I cannot communicate with my family if it's going to be this loud. You ruined my dinner and you don't know how to do your job."
ASSHOLE! Give me a fuckin' break. You're at a trendy restaurant and you want everyone else who dines here to whisper to each other for your sake? I don't think so. Not happening.
I obviously apologize for the inconvenience. There's really nothing that I can do about that. I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is to tell me that I don't know how to do my job. Hey Mister! Go shave the fuckin' hair out of your ear and maybe you'd be able to hear your family talk to you.
He then says, "the food here is great. The service on the other hand, you all need to learn how to do your jobs correctly. Make a note of this and pass it on to your manager."
I say, "Sure, I'll pass the information on to them".
Then he says, "No, write it down right now. I want to see you write it".
I don't write it down. Fuck that. I tell him that I'll let my manager know.
Turns out he already yelled at my manager. I'm flattered to think that he thought I was someone with authority. But, really. It is necessary to be grumpy like that to people? Especially me. I'm a pretty respectful person when it comes to my job, and life in general. I really don't appreciate being treated like some lowly person in the service sector. I don't give a shit if you're a celebrity, doctor, lawyer or you have nose hair sticking out of your nostrils as a symbol that you are over the hill are-- plain and simple, be nice.
On a lighter note, I have been offered a promotion. I am currently training to be the banquet/private event coordinator =] Exciting especially since the holidays are fast approaching and companies are going to start booking for their holiday parties. I have big plans for this place, and hopefully I'll be able to implement all of my ideas.
Also, last night I found out my roommate got a job with AmeriCorps. Awesome! So, right when she told me the news I said that I would be down to celebrate with her over dinner. So, I made my way out to San Francisco and ate at Picaro's on 16th and Valencia. The simple act of driving out there and trying to find parking made me miss the city life. I saw a ton of people on bicycles, countless bums hauling their recyclables and oddly-dressed people. I do have to admit, I miss that street funk, too. Gross, I know. I passed by the Victoria Theater on 16th and Mission where they premiered Macaframa last year. WHICH, I'm proud of myself for because I biked from there all the way to Balboa Bart. The only chick, and I was hella schoolin' the boys I was with. Anyway, Picaro's was awesome. I don't think you can ever go wrong with tapas. We ordered five plates and we were FULL. Everything was mighty tasty. To tell you the honest truth, I think it was better than Cha Cha Cha's. That's a big statement coming from me because I am a devoted Cha Cha Cha's fan. I used to go there after my bikram yoga classes at Funky Door Yoga in the Haight...mmm, jamaican jerk chicken and sauteed shrimp...I think I just got the chills thinking about it.
Alright, well hopefully I get my swag back into some humorous writing. What's wrong with me? I guess it doesn't help that I can't fuck around at my current job because now I have actual responsibilities. No titty flashings or drunk escapades at this place. I gotta act like a grown-up now. How sad.
Like, on the real. It's either they're really grumpy or they are just adorably sweet. I hope I don't grow up to be a grumpy, old person.
Tonight, I assigned a party of four in our mid-sized dining room because they requested for the quietest place to sit and talk. Our smallest room was reserved for a private event, so this was probably the next best place to take them. As I'm watching my boss take them back to their table, they just stare at the table like there's something completely wrong. As if there was a dead piece of road kill on it. My boss then guides them to our outside patio. Then, guides them back to the original table. The man lets his wife sit down and comes to my desk...and FULL OUT yells at me. He makes me recite to him the note that was left on the reservation. I say, "quietest table available. Preferably the back room".
He then says, "Exactly. You did not follow directions. If the restaurant was going to be noisy, you should have called me beforehand to tell me that it was going to be loud. I cannot communicate with my family if it's going to be this loud. You ruined my dinner and you don't know how to do your job."
ASSHOLE! Give me a fuckin' break. You're at a trendy restaurant and you want everyone else who dines here to whisper to each other for your sake? I don't think so. Not happening.
I obviously apologize for the inconvenience. There's really nothing that I can do about that. I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is to tell me that I don't know how to do my job. Hey Mister! Go shave the fuckin' hair out of your ear and maybe you'd be able to hear your family talk to you.
He then says, "the food here is great. The service on the other hand, you all need to learn how to do your jobs correctly. Make a note of this and pass it on to your manager."
I say, "Sure, I'll pass the information on to them".
Then he says, "No, write it down right now. I want to see you write it".
I don't write it down. Fuck that. I tell him that I'll let my manager know.
Turns out he already yelled at my manager. I'm flattered to think that he thought I was someone with authority. But, really. It is necessary to be grumpy like that to people? Especially me. I'm a pretty respectful person when it comes to my job, and life in general. I really don't appreciate being treated like some lowly person in the service sector. I don't give a shit if you're a celebrity, doctor, lawyer or you have nose hair sticking out of your nostrils as a symbol that you are over the hill are-- plain and simple, be nice.
On a lighter note, I have been offered a promotion. I am currently training to be the banquet/private event coordinator =] Exciting especially since the holidays are fast approaching and companies are going to start booking for their holiday parties. I have big plans for this place, and hopefully I'll be able to implement all of my ideas.
Also, last night I found out my roommate got a job with AmeriCorps. Awesome! So, right when she told me the news I said that I would be down to celebrate with her over dinner. So, I made my way out to San Francisco and ate at Picaro's on 16th and Valencia. The simple act of driving out there and trying to find parking made me miss the city life. I saw a ton of people on bicycles, countless bums hauling their recyclables and oddly-dressed people. I do have to admit, I miss that street funk, too. Gross, I know. I passed by the Victoria Theater on 16th and Mission where they premiered Macaframa last year. WHICH, I'm proud of myself for because I biked from there all the way to Balboa Bart. The only chick, and I was hella schoolin' the boys I was with. Anyway, Picaro's was awesome. I don't think you can ever go wrong with tapas. We ordered five plates and we were FULL. Everything was mighty tasty. To tell you the honest truth, I think it was better than Cha Cha Cha's. That's a big statement coming from me because I am a devoted Cha Cha Cha's fan. I used to go there after my bikram yoga classes at Funky Door Yoga in the Haight...mmm, jamaican jerk chicken and sauteed shrimp...I think I just got the chills thinking about it.
Alright, well hopefully I get my swag back into some humorous writing. What's wrong with me? I guess it doesn't help that I can't fuck around at my current job because now I have actual responsibilities. No titty flashings or drunk escapades at this place. I gotta act like a grown-up now. How sad.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Chill Weekend
Life after college goes by so quickly. Either that or times flies when you're having fun.
The Bokeh event went well. I don't feel I contributed as much as I would have liked to, but it's definitely a 'live & learn' experience. I mean, it isn't my gallery and it wasn't my event. So, it's hard to feel obliged to put any real hard work into something that doesn't even belong to me. However, I now know how things should be run if ever the opportunity presents itself that I'm in charge of the entire event.
The set-up was pretty dope, though. The concept was really tight. It's just the main component that was missing was its marketing. Chef totally threw it down. I'm silly and forgot to take pictures of the food, AGAIN! I'm so fired. He made a melon salad with tomatoes, flank steak skewers with chimichurri sauce, duck skewers with shallots, chicken sausages, and a chocolate croissant bread pudding with bananas in brown sugar and caramel sauce...which I currently have the leftovers in my fridge to fulfill all of my sweettooth needs =] I'm a sucker for bread pudding.
Here are some photos of the gallery from my point-and-shoot. I ain't cool enough to have one of those expensive cameras. I'm broke.
On Sunday I went to eat at Marzano's in Oakland. It really amazes me that people show me new things in an area that I lived in for five years that I never knew existed. I was pretty sheltered throughout college a.k.a. devoted too much time to boys. I didn't get Rule #32: Enjoy the little things. On Sunday's, you can choose from a preselected menu that offers pizzas for $10! Yummy pizzas at that. They also have about 5 cocktails that go for $6 each, which we opted out of because the extended cocktail list just sounded way better. As I sipped on my Pink Lemonade served up, we enjoyed the calzone pizza...so tasty. Just the right amount of spice to it.
Side note: I ate at Pizza Antica on Santana Row (Santa Clara, CA) a little while back, and I was so disappointed. I ordered the Spicy fennel sausage, portobello mushroom and roasted onion. Doesn't that sound delish? Ha. Not so much. For a good pizza in the South Bay, I say try out Piatti Ristorante & Bar at the Rivermark (Santa Clara, CA). Ughhh, a Margherita pizza sounds fantastic right now. Maybe I'll go there tomorrow after work. Yeah, probably.
Instead of getting dessert at Marzano's, I suggested that we got o Ici on College and Ashby in Berkeley. This ice cream spot is a Berkeley treasure. On a nice warm night, the line is easy out the door and makes its way three stores down. It's owner is the former pastry chef at Chez Pannise, Berkeley. Every time I go to Ici, I have to be sure to get the max amount of samples possible because in all honesty, I just have to sneak in as many licks of ice cream as possible. I mean, how often are you going to go to an ice cream parlor where the flavors change daily because they're all house-made? Why not induldge a little bit. After we got our scoops of ice cream we sat at the bench in front of the shop just watching the foot and mobile passerby. Good way to spend a Sunday.
Just to remind you, you better jump on that Restaurant Week deal throughout the South Bay because it's goin' to end on Wednesday. I wish I had the chance to make it somewhere, but whateve.
Umm, oh yeah! One last thing. Check out the new Michelin Guide, SF Bay Area. I feel so cool to have ate at three of those places. You're right, Ninja, it is cool to say that I've been to a dope spot before everyone jumps on the hype. Chyeahhhhh.
There are also a TON of good restaurants that are noteworthy enough that Michelin has a category for those who are ballin' on a budget. Literally. It's called, Bib Gourmand. The restaurants listed here are worth goin' to even if their entrees are under $30 each. Not bad if you ask me...and I'm not just saying that because my restaurant is on there. =]
Off of this list, I would definitely check out Delfina which is right next to Dolores Park in San Francisco. Totally romantic with its big windows facing the street. It's been a while since I've ate there but, regardless, it's really good. I was able to taste the roasted chicken and the oxtail ravioli, the special for the evening. Both were really good. And, they probably have the best biscotti you will ever taste in your life. The older man who was sitting next to me was dipping his biscotti in red wine. I copied him when he left. Wise old man. That was definitely yum. Bib Gourmand is totally right with this place. Light on the pocket with a lot of good food.
I'm sorry I've been really boring lately. Life has just slowed down a little bit and I'm really trying to enjoy this pace. I'm happy with where I'm at, and it's hard to be my goofy-self when I just want to absorb how life can be so great. It's hard to learn and pass it on, when you hardly give yourself time to live. Si o no?
The Bokeh event went well. I don't feel I contributed as much as I would have liked to, but it's definitely a 'live & learn' experience. I mean, it isn't my gallery and it wasn't my event. So, it's hard to feel obliged to put any real hard work into something that doesn't even belong to me. However, I now know how things should be run if ever the opportunity presents itself that I'm in charge of the entire event.
The set-up was pretty dope, though. The concept was really tight. It's just the main component that was missing was its marketing. Chef totally threw it down. I'm silly and forgot to take pictures of the food, AGAIN! I'm so fired. He made a melon salad with tomatoes, flank steak skewers with chimichurri sauce, duck skewers with shallots, chicken sausages, and a chocolate croissant bread pudding with bananas in brown sugar and caramel sauce...which I currently have the leftovers in my fridge to fulfill all of my sweettooth needs =] I'm a sucker for bread pudding.
Here are some photos of the gallery from my point-and-shoot. I ain't cool enough to have one of those expensive cameras. I'm broke.
On Sunday I went to eat at Marzano's in Oakland. It really amazes me that people show me new things in an area that I lived in for five years that I never knew existed. I was pretty sheltered throughout college a.k.a. devoted too much time to boys. I didn't get Rule #32: Enjoy the little things. On Sunday's, you can choose from a preselected menu that offers pizzas for $10! Yummy pizzas at that. They also have about 5 cocktails that go for $6 each, which we opted out of because the extended cocktail list just sounded way better. As I sipped on my Pink Lemonade served up, we enjoyed the calzone pizza...so tasty. Just the right amount of spice to it.
Side note: I ate at Pizza Antica on Santana Row (Santa Clara, CA) a little while back, and I was so disappointed. I ordered the Spicy fennel sausage, portobello mushroom and roasted onion. Doesn't that sound delish? Ha. Not so much. For a good pizza in the South Bay, I say try out Piatti Ristorante & Bar at the Rivermark (Santa Clara, CA). Ughhh, a Margherita pizza sounds fantastic right now. Maybe I'll go there tomorrow after work. Yeah, probably.
Instead of getting dessert at Marzano's, I suggested that we got o Ici on College and Ashby in Berkeley. This ice cream spot is a Berkeley treasure. On a nice warm night, the line is easy out the door and makes its way three stores down. It's owner is the former pastry chef at Chez Pannise, Berkeley. Every time I go to Ici, I have to be sure to get the max amount of samples possible because in all honesty, I just have to sneak in as many licks of ice cream as possible. I mean, how often are you going to go to an ice cream parlor where the flavors change daily because they're all house-made? Why not induldge a little bit. After we got our scoops of ice cream we sat at the bench in front of the shop just watching the foot and mobile passerby. Good way to spend a Sunday.
Just to remind you, you better jump on that Restaurant Week deal throughout the South Bay because it's goin' to end on Wednesday. I wish I had the chance to make it somewhere, but whateve.
Umm, oh yeah! One last thing. Check out the new Michelin Guide, SF Bay Area. I feel so cool to have ate at three of those places. You're right, Ninja, it is cool to say that I've been to a dope spot before everyone jumps on the hype. Chyeahhhhh.
There are also a TON of good restaurants that are noteworthy enough that Michelin has a category for those who are ballin' on a budget. Literally. It's called, Bib Gourmand. The restaurants listed here are worth goin' to even if their entrees are under $30 each. Not bad if you ask me...and I'm not just saying that because my restaurant is on there. =]
Off of this list, I would definitely check out Delfina which is right next to Dolores Park in San Francisco. Totally romantic with its big windows facing the street. It's been a while since I've ate there but, regardless, it's really good. I was able to taste the roasted chicken and the oxtail ravioli, the special for the evening. Both were really good. And, they probably have the best biscotti you will ever taste in your life. The older man who was sitting next to me was dipping his biscotti in red wine. I copied him when he left. Wise old man. That was definitely yum. Bib Gourmand is totally right with this place. Light on the pocket with a lot of good food.
I'm sorry I've been really boring lately. Life has just slowed down a little bit and I'm really trying to enjoy this pace. I'm happy with where I'm at, and it's hard to be my goofy-self when I just want to absorb how life can be so great. It's hard to learn and pass it on, when you hardly give yourself time to live. Si o no?
Friday, October 16, 2009
If Dirty Table Had A Twitter...Pt. II
it would say:
She posted the event flyer for 'Bokeh' earlier today. This event WILL be dope. Did I not already mention that? Well, plan on being there 'cause if not, you will have missed out on an up and coming spot that the Vallejo area has been waiting for.
Ahh, I love my friends. I'm really blessed to have intelligent, self-driven women as an integral part of my life. Without them I would be no one. And, as my life continues on to bigger and better things, I hope that I can provide them with as much love and support as they have/do for me.
I am pretty much awesome, and I have some VERY important friends =] Thank goodness to my very good friend, Krystle I, a radio personality on Wild 94.9's JV morning show. Check the link: http://jv.wild949.com/pages/personality_krystle.html
She posted the event flyer for 'Bokeh' earlier today. This event WILL be dope. Did I not already mention that? Well, plan on being there 'cause if not, you will have missed out on an up and coming spot that the Vallejo area has been waiting for.
Ahh, I love my friends. I'm really blessed to have intelligent, self-driven women as an integral part of my life. Without them I would be no one. And, as my life continues on to bigger and better things, I hope that I can provide them with as much love and support as they have/do for me.
Thank You, Miss Krystle I!
Oh Gah.
Apparently the joke about me working in an Asian Cafe is spreading fast. My cousin, Ryan, thought that it'd be funny to text me this. Again, inappropriate, yet hilarious.
Thanks Ryan. You have officially made my blog. I'm flattered to know that it's images like this that remind you of me...eww.
Thanks Ryan. You have officially made my blog. I'm flattered to know that it's images like this that remind you of me...eww.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Ma, You Silly.
I haven't told my parents that I have a job. I didn't want to tell them because they were supposed to fund my move to LA this past September, and backed out literally a week before. Once they gave me the horrible news, I immediately went on a serious job hunt so that I can support the move to LA myself.
Anyway, here is my status update from last night...and the comments that follow. My friends are so inappropriate.
Anyway, here is my status update from last night...and the comments that follow. My friends are so inappropriate.
Since I haven't told my parents where I work, dress kinda cute when I leave the house and always come home with Asian food, my mom has come to the conclusion that I work at an Asian cafe. Y'know, one of those cafes. Ma, you silly.
- Debbie and Lam like this.
- Dave: Addy please
- Lam: Hahahah
- Ryan: Be like yeah, mom...an Asian spa and salon...with hidden rooms behind the walls
- Marcus: Lol...you are not a Cafe Girl right??????
- Marcus: I'm sure you'd be amazing by the way ;) lololol >.<
- Me: I'm sure the 100 dollar bills on my desk doesn't help either. No joke. I forreal have that many.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Hey Broke Ass!
This one's for you. Yeah, you. You penny pinchin', 10% tippin' P.O.S.
I kid. Nah, this one's for any of you who want to have a nice meal at the convenient price of $35. San Jose's Metro Magazine sponsors "Silicon Valley Restaurant Week", and it's happening RIGHT NOW! Take advantage of it. Selected restaurants are providing a three course meal with items from their pre-selected menu. This is perfect for those of you who are feeling the full brunt of the recession. I highly advise that you take advantage of this...and if you're lucky maybe you'll bump into me at my restaurant =]
Sunday, October 11, 2009
If Dirty Table Had A Twitter...
it would have said:
Whoopsie! I wished the person to enjoy their trip to the bathroom. I laughed at myself as I walked back to my desk. It's all route. When I seat guests I usually say 'enjoy' or 'enjoy your meal'. So, wishing them to 'enjoy' their trip to the restroom seemed right at the moment. Except, in this case, did I just wish they to enjoy what they were doin' in the restroom...or eat shit? Thank goodness I didn't say 'enjoy your meal'. That would've been rude. I wonder if they caught that...
A customer asked where the restroom was. I guided them back to the hallway and said, "follow the wall display and it will be on your right hand side. Enjoy".
Whoopsie! I wished the person to enjoy their trip to the bathroom. I laughed at myself as I walked back to my desk. It's all route. When I seat guests I usually say 'enjoy' or 'enjoy your meal'. So, wishing them to 'enjoy' their trip to the restroom seemed right at the moment. Except, in this case, did I just wish they to enjoy what they were doin' in the restroom...or eat shit? Thank goodness I didn't say 'enjoy your meal'. That would've been rude. I wonder if they caught that...
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Not So Food Related
If there was anyone who did anything big post graduation, it's my roommate-- Randy. He was lucky enough to join a volunteer program whose initiative is to provide clean, flowing water to a village in Tanzania, Africa.
I sparked his interest in bicycles, and once we moved in together he bought one after her realized how much fun I was having with mine =]
Anyway, summer time in downtown Sunnyvale is really nice. Every Wednesday evening there is free live music on the historic Murphy Street. So, Randy and I were able to catch some nice patio seating, happy hour food and drinks at Fibbar MaGee's Pub. Randy is currently in Rio de Janiero, Brazil. He makes my life look pathetic. And, I just miss him. Anyway, just a couple pictures.
I honestly believe this is the guy who may have invented this contraption. He was literaly weaving through all of the foot traffic during the live concert. Some people who were sitting on the patio with us were so drunk that they got up to ask the guy permission to try it out for themselves. I think this thing is a sorry excuse for people who can't ride a normal scooter. I guess it's a good workout for the hips. Old people need that shit.
This is Randy's vision of me after about...5 drinks. And that's me debating if he's worth swoopin' up the bill on.
I can't wait until downtown Sunnyvale is fully revamped. Apparently it's going to be the next Santana Row. Otherwise, there's nothing else to do in Sunnyvale besides get drunk and go to downelink.com's monthly parties at...what's that place called now? Abyss?
I sparked his interest in bicycles, and once we moved in together he bought one after her realized how much fun I was having with mine =] Anyway, summer time in downtown Sunnyvale is really nice. Every Wednesday evening there is free live music on the historic Murphy Street. So, Randy and I were able to catch some nice patio seating, happy hour food and drinks at Fibbar MaGee's Pub. Randy is currently in Rio de Janiero, Brazil. He makes my life look pathetic. And, I just miss him. Anyway, just a couple pictures.
I honestly believe this is the guy who may have invented this contraption. He was literaly weaving through all of the foot traffic during the live concert. Some people who were sitting on the patio with us were so drunk that they got up to ask the guy permission to try it out for themselves. I think this thing is a sorry excuse for people who can't ride a normal scooter. I guess it's a good workout for the hips. Old people need that shit.
This is Randy's vision of me after about...5 drinks. And that's me debating if he's worth swoopin' up the bill on.
I can't wait until downtown Sunnyvale is fully revamped. Apparently it's going to be the next Santana Row. Otherwise, there's nothing else to do in Sunnyvale besides get drunk and go to downelink.com's monthly parties at...what's that place called now? Abyss?
Mmm...food.
Damn, are we in the work week already? I must say that I'm pretty blessed to have the weekend off. It is slightly odd that someone in the service industry, like myself, has their weekends off. In lieu of that, I've been eating out a lot lately. And, I thought it'd be nice to share, and slightly brag, the list of places that I've been to over the past few weeks.
Trust me, I wouldn't list these places if they weren't noteworthy. So, if you ever feel so inclined to spend a pretty penny, I do highly recommend any of these.
I ate at Commis last night =] Definitely affordable for those with the college-burdened/Sallie Mae-owing wallet. Cute little spot tucked away on Piedmont Avenue in Oakland. I personally think we sat at the best table in the house...the two top at the front of the house overlooking the street. Naturally, the pretty lady gets to see the street *points to self*, while my other half got a good view of the open kitchen. Let's just say we both got to look at what we wanted to look at. We were to choose one dish from each course, total of three, and we got the wine pairings. All-in-all, the two-top probably runs around $180. Not bad considering how delightfully tasty everything was. I gotta say, I felt like I was Goldliocks...everything was juuuuuust right.
A couple weeks back I ate at the Bouchon Bistro in the Napa Valley, which is a product of French Laundry (haven't been there yet, and I'm not sure if I'm up for it), also in the Napa Valley. Oh! Oh! Fun Fact: The movie Ratatouille is loosely based off of Executive Chef Thomas Keller's kitchen at the French Laundry. I don't lie. Watch the behind the scenes, duh! Anyway, Bouchon was good. I wish that I could give a real critique on the food, but tastes are just as new to me as the next guy. What I will say, though, is that it was a perfect late lunch food for four people who had been drinking wine all day. My friends and I shared a few apps and two entrees. Since we pretty much shared everything, the tab didn't do too much damage.
I also did some wine tasting. I honestly didn't know that wine tasting in Napa was so cheap! At Domaine Chandon (Yountville, CA), it was only $25 per person which includes 4 half glasses. I didn't eat anything before I went here...so four half glasses was more than enough. Check out their commercial. Pretty clever if you ask me.
Side note: Why do companies that distribute alcohol make people enter their birthday's before they are granted full access to the website? I mean, seriously, that's just stupid for two reasons:
- how the fuck are you going to know if the person who is trying to gain access is really over 21? You gonna make them hold up their ID to their webcam so you can check it yourself? Puhhhhlease. And...
- not even porn sites ask for birthdays...not that I know anything about that. *Pause* Maybe. *Looks Away* Whatever. That's besides the point. What the hell are we trying to teach our youth nowadays? You can't look at stupid websites that display alcohol that children probably don't have access to, but you can have sex...or at least live vicariously through whoever is givin' or gettin' it on the porn. I'm just sayin'. Am I the only one who has issues with that?
Moving along...
V. Sattui Winery, Napa, CA. We went here after we went to Domaine Chandon. I don't think it was a good idea for any of us to have gone here because we were drinking on empty stomachs. This inevitably meant that Jenny got the rosiest cheeks ever...AKA Asian glow. I really hate that term, but it's the only real way to describe it. Walking into this place I seriously felt out of place. It was weird because it looked wayyyyyy more laid back than Chandon, but no one wanted to help us. We were barely even greeted. I really resent the fact that judgment is passed right away when a group of young minorities walk into a place that they're not typically found in. I mean, we all have the right to be there and have a good time like everybody else. You don't gotta be shady or act like you don't want my business. Only I'm allowed to be mean to Asian people. But that's because I am Asian and we're probably related. Just keeeeding. Anyway, each of us were able to taste 8 different wines for about $10 per person. Pretttttttty good. They have a bottle called, Madera. I recommend it. It has a little bit of brandy in it. When I took my first sniff at it I felt like I was slapped on the face, but the taste was really surprising sweeter than how it smelled. That's a weird word to look at, smelled.
Last but not least, the Boon Fly Cafe, Napa Valley, CA. Probably the best burger I've had in a long time. Our server wasn't really that experienced because he had to keep going back to ask his superior the questions that we were asking. I forgive him, I remember what it was like cocktailing and serving for the first time. Customers always seem to ask the most off the wall questions the first time you serve. Like, fuhhh, I don't know. So, I can understand why he was so jumpy. It was pretty expensive for a shared dinner and apps, $140 for a four top. Nonetheless, it was still tasty and I was accompanied by good people. Half of the enjoyment of a good dinner is to be there with good people. So, I consider myself lucky because I don't know anyone who isn't worth having sit across from me as we eat. Check out the virtual tour, though. Go in all directions: up, down, right, left. Kinda makes me feel like I'm in outter space.
Well, that's all folks. I don't know if I'm eating out next week...or if I plan to. But there's something that I do plan on attending that has some food there...
Ninja will be doing a cooking demo and providing samples. It's gonna be dope...and it would be really nice to see some familiar faces. I don't know folks from the hood. I'm afraid of the hood. Hit me up. I'd love for you to join me.All photos taken from the respective venue.
Monday, October 5, 2009
And the award goes to...
I love working private parties. No, not those kinds of private parties you sicko. I'm talking about the birthday, company, weddings and film festival celebrations. These are always fun because you know there has to be at least one person in the batch of people who's going to cross the line. And the Academy goes to...
Best Maid of Honor Speech
"Do you know how Jessica and Tim met?" People reluctantly nod their heads. "For those of you who aren't aware they met on a website about 11 months back. Have you ever heard of myspace.com"? My coworkers and I all cringe. Instead of witnessing the typical tear-jerking testimonial, we all walked back to the kitchen to either laugh or gossip about how idiotic the Maid of Honor was. What was even better about this particular speech is...well...it didn't get any better. And, on top of that, there was a camera crew to document the entire thing. That poor bride. The last thing I would want is for that speech to be put onto a video that I can watch to remind me of how stupid my best friend is. I would seriously consider poppin' a cap on the person who made me feel stupid at my own wedding.
Best Man Speech Winner
"Jack and I were college roommates and I promised his parents that I could always keep my eye on him. So, when he was too lazy to get out of bed to go to class I did exactly what I promised. I stayed in bed, too"
Cutest Old Woman Award
Honestly, this woman was seriously the cutest thing. I was her server one evening when the City of San Jose invited her to celebrate the anniversary of this famous photo being taken. Yep, that's her. I met her and she was absolutely charming. She usually attends San Jose's Remember the 40's event during the summer at Kelley Park.
Best Wannabe Coyote Ugly Dancer
I was working the Cinequest Premier party in which all the filmmakers, crew and actors were to celebrate the beginning of an eventful week. So, my restaurant hosted a DJ, appetizers and various drinks to our very special guests. Apparently, there was a wanna be Slumdog Millionaire boy in the crowd. He didn't blend in with everyone else because he was young...and flamboyantly gay. It's ok, I love gender diversity. Anyway, I was doing my normal cocktail gig and this boy approaches me. He had puny little arms, overly-emo hair (the sideswipe), and wore extremely tight clothing. I swear, if there were any sizes smaller than what he was already wearing it probably would have been a XXXS and he still would have looked freakishly skinny. He comes up to me one hand on his hip and the other doin' that wrist action shit.
"Excuse me." I look up and smile. I try to make my smile look genuine. C'mon boy, you're killin'me.
"Yes", I reply.
"I really love this music right now, and I was wondering if I can dance on the table." He winces.
"Umm, sorry I don't think that's safe."
"Really? Not even that one over there?" He points to a round cocktail table. I mean, the tabletop itself was only 2ft in diameter and it stands about chest high.
"I'm sorry, but that's just not safe."
He walks away and swear to Geebus he flipped his hair at me. WTF? Hahah. He goes back and dances with his little friends. All that boy needed was a nice purse to have dangle from his little arm and he would've been set. As much as I would have loved to see him dance on top of that cocktail table, I had to resist and made sure no one got killed. My restaurant couldn't afford a lawsuit because I need a job.
Best Comedian
Michael McDonald came in once after he performed at the Improv. Nothin' particularly exciting happened except that I got to serve him and his friends a bottle of wine, but I'm just gonna throw him on here for good measure. He's a fuckin' hilarious man. Damn, thank you Mad TV.
I will say though that, in person, his eyes are remarkably gorgeous. They're like a heaven-blue color.
Party for 2 Award
Alright, so for some odd reason I had some weird shit goin' on at one restaurant. This particular place was chosen for singles to come and meet up with each other on blind dates. Party for 2 is actually a dating service company that matches hopeful singles with one another. Jim walks in. He's a man whose probably in his late 50s and hasn't got much action in his lifetime. His comb-over hair looked as though he had just had it dyed for this special occasion. I greet him as he comes in and offer him a cocktail table to wait at. For the most part he was kind, but he looked like he was sweating bullets. Teri, his date, walks in. She's a very good looking woman who's wearing a business casual outfit, high heels and dark sunglasses. She hides between the corner of my desk and the wall. She asks, "I'm here for Party for 2. Has Jim checked in."
"Yes, he has. He's sitting right over there. Would you like me to introduce you?"
She looks over at him. "Shit, I knew his picture isn't who he says he is. I'm going to call the restaurant and you're going to pick up the phone. Just tell him I had a family emergency and I couldn't make it."
"Sure", I say.
She dashes out of the restaurant in a hurry. The phone rings and I do exactly as instructed to do. I approach Jim and tell him the horrible news. I won't lie, I felt terrible. He ordered a glass of wine. Paid. Then, left. Poor Jim.
Best Russian Coworker
I know this is supposed to be for guests, but this one has to go in the books. I had a coworker named, Daniela. She was from Russia. He husband was significantly older than her, and she met him here while she was on a Student Visa. Something fishy? Maybe, but she was sweet so it doesn't matter. Daniela spoke very good English, but there were times that she got caught up. One day she came in with a cold sore on her lip. No big deal. It's just a cold sore. It's not like it was a boil or anything. Anyway, we were talking about how the cold weather is starting to slow down business and people are starting to stay in because they don't want to get sick. Daniela says, "I don't want to serve tables today because I'm getting sick. And, I want this herpe to go away."
"What?! Omg, Daniela, don't say that aloud! People don't want to hear that. And, it's not even a herpe. You have a cold-sore."
"What's it called," she asks.
"A cold-sore", I say. I turn to walk away, and she grabs my ass. WTF? Damn, maybe she is one freaky little thang after all.
The Hella Moded Award
At this time, I was a host. And we use this service called Open Table. This particular person requested for the most romantic table in the restaurant because he was going to propose to his girlfriend. Naturally, that's what we do. They arrive and it looks like its going great. The other servers and I just stand around as we usually do. Their server, Oliver, wasn't excited about this couple because every dinner that he's served where one of the guests proposes to each other has been rejected.
Third times a charm? Nope, maybe Oliver is bad luck. The girlfriend is obviously very upset and leaves. The guy sits by himself, pays the bill, and leaves the restaurant. Yikes, I guess we're not seeing him any time soon.
Best Maid of Honor Speech
"Do you know how Jessica and Tim met?" People reluctantly nod their heads. "For those of you who aren't aware they met on a website about 11 months back. Have you ever heard of myspace.com"? My coworkers and I all cringe. Instead of witnessing the typical tear-jerking testimonial, we all walked back to the kitchen to either laugh or gossip about how idiotic the Maid of Honor was. What was even better about this particular speech is...well...it didn't get any better. And, on top of that, there was a camera crew to document the entire thing. That poor bride. The last thing I would want is for that speech to be put onto a video that I can watch to remind me of how stupid my best friend is. I would seriously consider poppin' a cap on the person who made me feel stupid at my own wedding.
Best Man Speech Winner
"Jack and I were college roommates and I promised his parents that I could always keep my eye on him. So, when he was too lazy to get out of bed to go to class I did exactly what I promised. I stayed in bed, too"
Cutest Old Woman Award
Honestly, this woman was seriously the cutest thing. I was her server one evening when the City of San Jose invited her to celebrate the anniversary of this famous photo being taken. Yep, that's her. I met her and she was absolutely charming. She usually attends San Jose's Remember the 40's event during the summer at Kelley Park.
Best Wannabe Coyote Ugly Dancer
I was working the Cinequest Premier party in which all the filmmakers, crew and actors were to celebrate the beginning of an eventful week. So, my restaurant hosted a DJ, appetizers and various drinks to our very special guests. Apparently, there was a wanna be Slumdog Millionaire boy in the crowd. He didn't blend in with everyone else because he was young...and flamboyantly gay. It's ok, I love gender diversity. Anyway, I was doing my normal cocktail gig and this boy approaches me. He had puny little arms, overly-emo hair (the sideswipe), and wore extremely tight clothing. I swear, if there were any sizes smaller than what he was already wearing it probably would have been a XXXS and he still would have looked freakishly skinny. He comes up to me one hand on his hip and the other doin' that wrist action shit.
"Excuse me." I look up and smile. I try to make my smile look genuine. C'mon boy, you're killin'me.
"Yes", I reply.
"I really love this music right now, and I was wondering if I can dance on the table." He winces.
"Umm, sorry I don't think that's safe."
"Really? Not even that one over there?" He points to a round cocktail table. I mean, the tabletop itself was only 2ft in diameter and it stands about chest high.
"I'm sorry, but that's just not safe."
He walks away and swear to Geebus he flipped his hair at me. WTF? Hahah. He goes back and dances with his little friends. All that boy needed was a nice purse to have dangle from his little arm and he would've been set. As much as I would have loved to see him dance on top of that cocktail table, I had to resist and made sure no one got killed. My restaurant couldn't afford a lawsuit because I need a job.
Best Comedian
Michael McDonald came in once after he performed at the Improv. Nothin' particularly exciting happened except that I got to serve him and his friends a bottle of wine, but I'm just gonna throw him on here for good measure. He's a fuckin' hilarious man. Damn, thank you Mad TV.
I will say though that, in person, his eyes are remarkably gorgeous. They're like a heaven-blue color.
Party for 2 Award
Alright, so for some odd reason I had some weird shit goin' on at one restaurant. This particular place was chosen for singles to come and meet up with each other on blind dates. Party for 2 is actually a dating service company that matches hopeful singles with one another. Jim walks in. He's a man whose probably in his late 50s and hasn't got much action in his lifetime. His comb-over hair looked as though he had just had it dyed for this special occasion. I greet him as he comes in and offer him a cocktail table to wait at. For the most part he was kind, but he looked like he was sweating bullets. Teri, his date, walks in. She's a very good looking woman who's wearing a business casual outfit, high heels and dark sunglasses. She hides between the corner of my desk and the wall. She asks, "I'm here for Party for 2. Has Jim checked in."
"Yes, he has. He's sitting right over there. Would you like me to introduce you?"
She looks over at him. "Shit, I knew his picture isn't who he says he is. I'm going to call the restaurant and you're going to pick up the phone. Just tell him I had a family emergency and I couldn't make it."
"Sure", I say.
She dashes out of the restaurant in a hurry. The phone rings and I do exactly as instructed to do. I approach Jim and tell him the horrible news. I won't lie, I felt terrible. He ordered a glass of wine. Paid. Then, left. Poor Jim.
Best Russian Coworker
I know this is supposed to be for guests, but this one has to go in the books. I had a coworker named, Daniela. She was from Russia. He husband was significantly older than her, and she met him here while she was on a Student Visa. Something fishy? Maybe, but she was sweet so it doesn't matter. Daniela spoke very good English, but there were times that she got caught up. One day she came in with a cold sore on her lip. No big deal. It's just a cold sore. It's not like it was a boil or anything. Anyway, we were talking about how the cold weather is starting to slow down business and people are starting to stay in because they don't want to get sick. Daniela says, "I don't want to serve tables today because I'm getting sick. And, I want this herpe to go away."
"What?! Omg, Daniela, don't say that aloud! People don't want to hear that. And, it's not even a herpe. You have a cold-sore."
"What's it called," she asks.
"A cold-sore", I say. I turn to walk away, and she grabs my ass. WTF? Damn, maybe she is one freaky little thang after all.
The Hella Moded Award
At this time, I was a host. And we use this service called Open Table. This particular person requested for the most romantic table in the restaurant because he was going to propose to his girlfriend. Naturally, that's what we do. They arrive and it looks like its going great. The other servers and I just stand around as we usually do. Their server, Oliver, wasn't excited about this couple because every dinner that he's served where one of the guests proposes to each other has been rejected.
Third times a charm? Nope, maybe Oliver is bad luck. The girlfriend is obviously very upset and leaves. The guy sits by himself, pays the bill, and leaves the restaurant. Yikes, I guess we're not seeing him any time soon.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
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If you have a gmail account, please log on and go to our site. Then, on the upper left hand corner, please click Follow =] We promise that you will be extremely pleased with what this blog has to offer.
And, if you're truly devoted, we'll invite you to an event or to our restaurant to PERSONALLY buy you a drink.
Customer service at it's best. Get us on Oprah or find us a book deal and I'll buy you dinner every day for the rest of your life. Swear. Well, maybe. My tips don't cover all that. But you will be handsomely rewarded...with my gratitude.
If you have a gmail account, please log on and go to our site. Then, on the upper left hand corner, please click Follow =] We promise that you will be extremely pleased with what this blog has to offer.
And, if you're truly devoted, we'll invite you to an event or to our restaurant to PERSONALLY buy you a drink.
Customer service at it's best. Get us on Oprah or find us a book deal and I'll buy you dinner every day for the rest of your life. Swear. Well, maybe. My tips don't cover all that. But you will be handsomely rewarded...with my gratitude.
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