Since I've started my career as an Event Coordinator, I've had the wonderful responsibility of having my work calls forwarded to my personal phone via Google Voice. Technology is amazing, yes. One of its great features is that it transcribes voicemails and sends them to my email and text inboxes.
However, and that's a big HOWEVER. There is only SO much that technology can do for you. Quite frankly, technology is kinda ignorant. In this sense, it doesn't keep in mind that people have accents. I work in the Silicon Valley; a hub that attracts working professionals from all around the world. So, if it doesn't understand what you're saying it italicizes the word that it 'thinks' you said. This message, I thought, was pretty hilarious. Choose whatever accent you feel is appropriate. It's the way that Google Voice translates it that makes it hilarious.
Google Voice Translation
Morning Jenny, This is your Vana groovy videos of the vegetation Foundation. I'm calling about our it meant, this evening. Just wanted to confirm Beach area of evil be in there and I wanted to find out what the seating arrangement would look like said, you have multiple tables or do you have like long tables or do you have multiple small tables. I would appreciate a call back thank you bye.
Actual Human Translation
Morning Jenny, This is Shavene Gupta* of the Education* Foundation. I'm calling about our event, this evening. Just wanted to confirm which area we'll be in there and I wanted to find out what the seating arrangement would look like said, you have multiple tables or do you have like long tables or do you have multiple small tables. I would appreciate a call back thank you bye.
C'mon technology. You're developed by people who come from all around the globe. That's just not nice!
*Identity of this client has not been compromised. It is a fictional name and business, but real message.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Technology, y'need to stop bein' so ignant!
Since I've started my career as an Event Coordinator, I've had the wonderful responsibility of having my work calls forwarded to my personal phone via Google Voice. Technology is amazing, yes. One of its great features is that it transcribes voicemails and sends them to my email and text inboxes.
However, and that's a big HOWEVER. There is only SO much that technology can do for you. Quite frankly, technology is kinda ignorant. In this sense, it doesn't keep in mind that people have accents. I work in the Silicon Valley; a hub for international professionals to create the most cutting edge technology. So, if it doesn't understand what you're saying it italicizes the word that it 'thinks' you said. This message, I thought, was pretty hilarious. Choose whatever accent you feel is appropriate. It's the way that Google Voice translates it that makes it hilarious.
However, and that's a big HOWEVER. There is only SO much that technology can do for you. Quite frankly, technology is kinda ignorant. In this sense, it doesn't keep in mind that people have accents. I work in the Silicon Valley; a hub for international professionals to create the most cutting edge technology. So, if it doesn't understand what you're saying it italicizes the word that it 'thinks' you said. This message, I thought, was pretty hilarious. Choose whatever accent you feel is appropriate. It's the way that Google Voice translates it that makes it hilarious.
Morning Jenny, This is your Vana groovy videos of thevegetationFoundation. I'm calling about our it meant, this evening. Just wanted to confirmBeacharea of evil be in there and I wanted to find out what the seating arrangement would look like said, you have multiple tables or do you have like long tables or do you have multiple small tables. I would appreciate a call back. Thank you bye.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Oh, Yelp, how I hate thee.
Came across this review after searching a restaurant that someone referred me to. I use Yelp to see what people say about restaurants, but the things that reviewers write are just so, for a lack of better words, stupid. Just thought I'd copy and paste this review...and give the restaurant some defense even though I've never even been there. The way people write reviews only goes to explain who they are and not too much about what actually matters. When reading keep in mind that the person hardly talks about the food or drinks, and only the service. While service is an important component for any dining experience, they call it "going out to eat" because you're doing just that-- going out to eat. We don't say "I'm going out to service", do we? My comments in bold =]:
The service and food here are worlds apart. The food is delicious. I ordered the crab cakes Benedict and they were fantastic. The potatoes and fruit served with them were unimaginative, yet tasty.
The service was odd. Our waiter was very nice. It seemed he had tables both inside and out, so I would recommend that to expedite service, the person handling the patio only handle the patio.
The manager, (I think she called herself the floor manager) provided some of the worst service I've seen in quite some time. Here's how our morning went.
9:50ish: first of the 6 shows up and seats herself on the patio. The restaurant doesn't open till 10, yet 3 other patio tables had already seated themselves. NEVER, ever, should a diner seat themselves. Explanation to follow.
9:58-10:05: three others show up and we seat ourselves with our friend. We're happy she's claimed a nice patio table for us. Monkey see, monkey do? Apparently so.
10:05: man in a beige button down comes out and asks if we are Hart. We say no. He says, ok, I think they have a reservation but let me figure things out.
10:08: menus are brought out and mimosas are ordered. Who has the time to record the time of all this shit?
10:35: Manager lady comes out. Tells us she is the floor manager, and we'll probably need to move since there's a reservation. People always seat themselves and it causes a problem all the time. (Her words). Because it does, Asswipe! Whether this restaurant or another, it does.
Our response? Have you ever thought about bringing in your host 30 minutes early to organize seating? Oh shut the fuck up. Have YOU ever worked in a restaurant?Or having the little "reserved" cards on the table right when the sugar packets are set out? Do YOU want to provide the "reserved" signs at every restaurant you dine at so that they can tell you that they're reserved? When you ASSume, you make an ass out of yourself.Or just locking the patio gate so patrons can't get in? Yeah, so that the next guest can complain that there isn't seating for before the restaurant opens? Complaint after complaint.
Her response: this never happens. I've been here 4 (omigod 4 months, you're such a veteran) months and haven't seen this. Plus it's restaurant week and we've been really busy! Restaurant Week is a great opportunity for people to dine on a budget. HOWEVER, since it is restaurant week restaurants are overbooked and overworked. Yes, it comes with the job, but the quality of just about everything goes down BECAUSE of the volume of customers and food they are putting out. Want quality service and food? Consider spending what it's actually worth, duh.
You're a restaurant manager. I would think you'd love to be busy. I certainly wouldn't think you'd complain about it to a table full of people anxious to spend money at your restaurant!
In the end, the "reservation" opted to eat indoors, away from the heat, and at 10:45AM, a full 45 minutes after opening, we were served our first mimosas. If a reservation requests to sit outside, they have priority of the table ESPECIALLY since you sat yourself. It's obvious that you didn't have a reservation requesting for outside, so shut up.
The manager woman never apologized and I actually thought the server was quite friendly and rather smart to just stay out of the whole mess. He comp'ed the beverages without a word and did a very nice job. Comping your drinks was an apology, so move on with your life.
The one woman (who we actually saw leaving less than 10 minutes after telling us we could stay on the patio) really set a bad taste for the restaurant.
I was hoping for a fantastic experience since I'd heard such great things, but it was mediocre at best.
The service and food here are worlds apart. The food is delicious. I ordered the crab cakes Benedict and they were fantastic. The potatoes and fruit served with them were unimaginative, yet tasty.
The service was odd. Our waiter was very nice. It seemed he had tables both inside and out, so I would recommend that to expedite service, the person handling the patio only handle the patio.
The manager, (I think she called herself the floor manager) provided some of the worst service I've seen in quite some time. Here's how our morning went.
9:50ish: first of the 6 shows up and seats herself on the patio. The restaurant doesn't open till 10, yet 3 other patio tables had already seated themselves. NEVER, ever, should a diner seat themselves. Explanation to follow.
9:58-10:05: three others show up and we seat ourselves with our friend. We're happy she's claimed a nice patio table for us. Monkey see, monkey do? Apparently so.
10:05: man in a beige button down comes out and asks if we are Hart. We say no. He says, ok, I think they have a reservation but let me figure things out.
10:08: menus are brought out and mimosas are ordered. Who has the time to record the time of all this shit?
10:35: Manager lady comes out. Tells us she is the floor manager, and we'll probably need to move since there's a reservation. People always seat themselves and it causes a problem all the time. (Her words). Because it does, Asswipe! Whether this restaurant or another, it does.
Our response? Have you ever thought about bringing in your host 30 minutes early to organize seating? Oh shut the fuck up. Have YOU ever worked in a restaurant?Or having the little "reserved" cards on the table right when the sugar packets are set out? Do YOU want to provide the "reserved" signs at every restaurant you dine at so that they can tell you that they're reserved? When you ASSume, you make an ass out of yourself.Or just locking the patio gate so patrons can't get in? Yeah, so that the next guest can complain that there isn't seating for before the restaurant opens? Complaint after complaint.
Her response: this never happens. I've been here 4 (omigod 4 months, you're such a veteran) months and haven't seen this. Plus it's restaurant week and we've been really busy! Restaurant Week is a great opportunity for people to dine on a budget. HOWEVER, since it is restaurant week restaurants are overbooked and overworked. Yes, it comes with the job, but the quality of just about everything goes down BECAUSE of the volume of customers and food they are putting out. Want quality service and food? Consider spending what it's actually worth, duh.
You're a restaurant manager. I would think you'd love to be busy. I certainly wouldn't think you'd complain about it to a table full of people anxious to spend money at your restaurant!
In the end, the "reservation" opted to eat indoors, away from the heat, and at 10:45AM, a full 45 minutes after opening, we were served our first mimosas. If a reservation requests to sit outside, they have priority of the table ESPECIALLY since you sat yourself. It's obvious that you didn't have a reservation requesting for outside, so shut up.
The manager woman never apologized and I actually thought the server was quite friendly and rather smart to just stay out of the whole mess. He comp'ed the beverages without a word and did a very nice job. Comping your drinks was an apology, so move on with your life.
The one woman (who we actually saw leaving less than 10 minutes after telling us we could stay on the patio) really set a bad taste for the restaurant.
I was hoping for a fantastic experience since I'd heard such great things, but it was mediocre at best.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Got Cha!
Someone called in to make a reservation and got my coworker real good. She didn't realize that she got doopt until she called to confirm and the phone number was wrong. We both sat in front of the computer laughing our asses off. Ahhh, that was a good one who ever you are. You got her and got her real good!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
10 Things I Think of at Work
1) If I say hi to you, say hi back. It's common courtesy you jerk. Don't shove your ugly fingers in my face to show me how many people are in your party. One day I'm going to wave a finger in your face-- and believe me you know which one that's going to be you rude bastid.
2) If I tell you there's a waitlist, I can assure you there is a waitlist. I was hired here for a reason and I know what I'm doing. So you either wait or leave. You choose. Refer to #3
3) I don't give a shit if you see open tables. It's called a 'Reservation'. TRY MAKING ONE SOMETIME! Refer to #2
4) The inevitable, "Can I make a reservation right now?" No, you dumb dumb. Reservations are for people who call in ahead of time. You can't make a reservation for 5 minutes from now AND you definitely cannot make a reservation as you stand in front of me at the host stand. That defeats the purpose of making a reservation. I believe you are what we call a 'Walk-In'.
5) Blame the guy who made the large reservation. A lot of people think that it's ok to make a reservation for more people than are actually going to show up. And, then, there's that person who is waiting on a ridiculously long waitlist because we've run out of tables. Well, blame your fellow dining patron because they made a reservation for 15 people and there are only 9 people showed up. That's a whole 6 guests that we can seat, and that could be your table you waitlist people! C'mon, let's be realistic. You're mom who's across the country is clearly not going to make it. DON'T INCLUDE HER! Be considerate and realistic about your party size!
6) Dietary Restrictions. All I have to say is that if you're vegan or gluten-free by choice , get the fuhh outta here. *Slap the back of your head* I leave out vegetarians because the world has become a little more forgiving to you people. Dear Gluten-Free and Vegan customers: Do everyone a favor and stay home. You make me miserable. I mean, seriously, you claim to be gluten-free but you can have soy sauce? Do you know what's in soy sauce? That's right, WHEAT. Wait, I thought you said you were gluten-free. Ahhduhhhh.
7) The Complainer. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yes. Complaining about a drink being to strong or the chicken being too dry is good to know. I'd be glad to get that comped for you. But, and this is a BIG BUT, if you seriously have the time to complain about how the host didn't ask you how your day is, that we don't have a particular tequila, that an item that you had a year ago is no longer on the menu, so on and so forth, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! No one is forcing you to dine with us! You claim to be classy, so show some class. Wipe that ugly snarl off your face or else it'll get stuck that way.
8) The Yelp! Elite Some of you I respect, others I feel like the world would be a better place without you. I am all for your honest opinion but when you start taking away 'stars' for not having a flatscreen in the bathroom that's when I know you're a joke. The thing that really erks me is when a customer has the audacity to personally attack an employee. Go ahead, mention the terrible service that they provided or whatever...but it's not your job to dampen an employees day by pointing out how you don't like their clothing, body type and/or ethnicity. That just goes to show that you're not all that and a bag of chips.
9) Sure, let me drop everything I'm doing to help you. Literally. Example: I was carrying a chair and a customer literally tried to hand me their water glass to get a refill. You've got to be kidding me. Apparently I'm a professional juggler. Thanks for helping me discover that talent...NOT.
10) I know what you're thinking: If you hate your job so much why don't you leave?. You're right, I do. I'm working on it.
2) If I tell you there's a waitlist, I can assure you there is a waitlist. I was hired here for a reason and I know what I'm doing. So you either wait or leave. You choose. Refer to #3
3) I don't give a shit if you see open tables. It's called a 'Reservation'. TRY MAKING ONE SOMETIME! Refer to #2
4) The inevitable, "Can I make a reservation right now?" No, you dumb dumb. Reservations are for people who call in ahead of time. You can't make a reservation for 5 minutes from now AND you definitely cannot make a reservation as you stand in front of me at the host stand. That defeats the purpose of making a reservation. I believe you are what we call a 'Walk-In'.
5) Blame the guy who made the large reservation. A lot of people think that it's ok to make a reservation for more people than are actually going to show up. And, then, there's that person who is waiting on a ridiculously long waitlist because we've run out of tables. Well, blame your fellow dining patron because they made a reservation for 15 people and there are only 9 people showed up. That's a whole 6 guests that we can seat, and that could be your table you waitlist people! C'mon, let's be realistic. You're mom who's across the country is clearly not going to make it. DON'T INCLUDE HER! Be considerate and realistic about your party size!
6) Dietary Restrictions. All I have to say is that if you're vegan or gluten-free by choice , get the fuhh outta here. *Slap the back of your head* I leave out vegetarians because the world has become a little more forgiving to you people. Dear Gluten-Free and Vegan customers: Do everyone a favor and stay home. You make me miserable. I mean, seriously, you claim to be gluten-free but you can have soy sauce? Do you know what's in soy sauce? That's right, WHEAT. Wait, I thought you said you were gluten-free. Ahhduhhhh.
7) The Complainer. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, yes. Complaining about a drink being to strong or the chicken being too dry is good to know. I'd be glad to get that comped for you. But, and this is a BIG BUT, if you seriously have the time to complain about how the host didn't ask you how your day is, that we don't have a particular tequila, that an item that you had a year ago is no longer on the menu, so on and so forth, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! No one is forcing you to dine with us! You claim to be classy, so show some class. Wipe that ugly snarl off your face or else it'll get stuck that way.
8) The Yelp! Elite Some of you I respect, others I feel like the world would be a better place without you. I am all for your honest opinion but when you start taking away 'stars' for not having a flatscreen in the bathroom that's when I know you're a joke. The thing that really erks me is when a customer has the audacity to personally attack an employee. Go ahead, mention the terrible service that they provided or whatever...but it's not your job to dampen an employees day by pointing out how you don't like their clothing, body type and/or ethnicity. That just goes to show that you're not all that and a bag of chips.
9) Sure, let me drop everything I'm doing to help you. Literally. Example: I was carrying a chair and a customer literally tried to hand me their water glass to get a refill. You've got to be kidding me. Apparently I'm a professional juggler. Thanks for helping me discover that talent...NOT.
10) I know what you're thinking: If you hate your job so much why don't you leave?. You're right, I do. I'm working on it.
86'n Myself.
Wassup y'all! Did you miss me? Fuhh, I know you did. To tell you the truth I've missed me, too. You know how the word on the street is that the restaurant/hospitality business sucks you in and you never get out. That's shit's true! NO JOKE! When I first started working in restaurants I was just doin' it as a gig to pay my way through college. Sounds familiar, right? We've all heard of the stripper who goes bare to pay her college tuition. I did the same thing minus the showin' my areolas and losing my dignity! Gotta make that money even if it takes blowin' a kiss here and there...or wearin' an extra low cut vneck top to show off the itty bitties that I got. No shame.
My point is, I worked in restaurants all throughout college, graduated and...ended up in restaurants again. Who the hell am I fooling? I gotta get out! I was really blessed to be promoted so quickly, but this industry is just a downwards spiral unless you're really ambitious to make your way up. I'm really over the vanity of the industry. I guess you can say that there are subgroups within the hospitality industry that promote a certain look. The places that I've worked at have always been the trendy, upscale looking restaurants. Everyone who works there has that image of being fashionably sound, clean cut and trendy...if you will. As much as I feel I fit that cookie cutter image, I think I'm just over it. I need to move on. The industry has been great to me and the instant gratification that I get for the work that I do is awesome. I've had guests who really respect what I do and handsomely reward me for that. However, I think I've hit a point in my life where that just isn't enough. I need to make a real impact in this crazy, unforgiving world. I gotta lot of good to do for this place, and restaurants just isn't where I can provide that service. A lot of people would say that you gotta whole lifetime to live to do the good. For me, I'm starting to think why waste time on things that just make you a pretty penny over making a noticeable difference in the world? Oh, the hippie in me is aching to come out.
Like I said, I've really lost myself this past year. Being a banquet coordinator is awesome. More like, the money is awesome. It's true, though. One look at that paycheck and that inkling of moving on with your life diminishes. I've been fooled for nearly an entire year. I've survived scapegoat parties, Yelp Elitists and the shitstorm of customers who literally want you to drop everything you got just to help them. My brown nosin' days will come to an end soon...probably a lot sooner than anyone anticipated.
My point is, I worked in restaurants all throughout college, graduated and...ended up in restaurants again. Who the hell am I fooling? I gotta get out! I was really blessed to be promoted so quickly, but this industry is just a downwards spiral unless you're really ambitious to make your way up. I'm really over the vanity of the industry. I guess you can say that there are subgroups within the hospitality industry that promote a certain look. The places that I've worked at have always been the trendy, upscale looking restaurants. Everyone who works there has that image of being fashionably sound, clean cut and trendy...if you will. As much as I feel I fit that cookie cutter image, I think I'm just over it. I need to move on. The industry has been great to me and the instant gratification that I get for the work that I do is awesome. I've had guests who really respect what I do and handsomely reward me for that. However, I think I've hit a point in my life where that just isn't enough. I need to make a real impact in this crazy, unforgiving world. I gotta lot of good to do for this place, and restaurants just isn't where I can provide that service. A lot of people would say that you gotta whole lifetime to live to do the good. For me, I'm starting to think why waste time on things that just make you a pretty penny over making a noticeable difference in the world? Oh, the hippie in me is aching to come out.
Like I said, I've really lost myself this past year. Being a banquet coordinator is awesome. More like, the money is awesome. It's true, though. One look at that paycheck and that inkling of moving on with your life diminishes. I've been fooled for nearly an entire year. I've survived scapegoat parties, Yelp Elitists and the shitstorm of customers who literally want you to drop everything you got just to help them. My brown nosin' days will come to an end soon...probably a lot sooner than anyone anticipated.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Ballinnnnnnnnnnnnn'
Ate at Le Bernadin-- a 3 Michelin Star rated restaurant in the heart of New York City. Just a sneak peak, y'all.
And this is just the first course =]
Had to...
And this is just the first course =]
Had to...
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