Care For Some Fish?

Aren't you proud that American practices are so much different?! You should be! Yucky! God forbid that shit were to ever be presented to customers out here...people would go ape shit. What really grosses me out is that they actually start eating it as it's still leaping for life. *Cringe* I'm just really happy that I work in the front-of-the-house where everything is all peachy. Back-of-the-house on the other hand, let's just say that I will never look a cow or chicken straight in the eye again. I've seen racks of ribs hanging from what appeared to be ice picks and chicken heads lined up on a countertop that look like the one's you throw at baseball pitchers who intentionally walk Barry Bonds..God rest his legit career...but I still think Marc Ecko is an asshole for putting an asterisk* on the 756 ball. NO ONE WANTS TO BUY YOUR CLOTHES ANYMORE. YOU CAN'T HATE EVERYONE FOR THAT! Anyway, I would love to post pictures of these racks of ribs and chicken heads, but I think I may vomit soon. The vivid image in my head is becoming too real.

One of the restaurants that I worked at in San Francisco used deer in a few of their dishes. So, there I am, an innocent 21 year-old who's passing the walk-in fridge just to go clock-in for my shift. And, there it is. I swear it was Bambi lying on that cart with a white sheet covering it; one eye exposed to this evil world. It was like it was staring me down and using its lifeless body as an example of the brutal deaths that so many animals go through for human consumption. It may have whispered to me, "Go vegetarian, Jenny. Save the planet. And tell Flower my skunk friend that I miss her". I felt horrible! Almost like I was the one who did it. It was like they just killed her =/ Ok, not really. But, I felt really bad for her...if it was a her. And, I was scared so shitless that I clocked-in and ran right upstairs to do what I was there to do...my job. Isn't that fucked up, though? We use words like 'venison' to mask the idea of what we're really about to eat...deer...which equals Bambi. Don't hate me, animals. I need my source of protein, so please spare me the guilt trip.


Well, after seeing this video, I definitely prefer my fish killed in the kitchen like it should be and not as I'm eating it. *I think I just threw up in my mouth a little* Thanks.

Chelsea Handler

Is one of the most hilarious women in the entertainment industry. Her humor is my humor, and I fucking love it. Her opening monologue on her 12/4 episode of 'Chelsea Lately' on E! caught me dying of laughter. I wish I had heard the whole thing.

I like my cocktails like my vaginal walls; strong. A tip to the keigals to
you.

I highly recommend reading any of her books. I'm asking Santa for, Are you there, Vodka? It's me, Chelsea. If you like reading about sex and alcohol (who fucking doesn't?), I suggest My Horizontal Life. Please YouTube: Chelsea Lately. That is all.